This semester I’ve returned to teaching what has become perhaps the most iconic Theology course at Saint Ignatius: Christian Manhood. Created by Jim Skerl ’74 in the early 80s and further developed by Tom Healey ’77 and Drew Vilinsky ’97, the class seeks to help students grow into Christian men—Men for Others in the image of the Man for others, Jesus.
While this quest has never been easy, it proves to be an especially difficult one in this era of social media where our boys are bombarded with a host of competing images of what it means to be a man, and the entertainment industry glamorizes a narcissistic ideal of life.
My modest contribution to the cause has been asking my students to begin the course by engaging a secular thinker. In 2015, New York Times columnist David Brooks noted the modern trend toward narcissism and, in an attempt to reverse it, wrote a book entitled “The Road to Character” (TRTC). The fruit of a course he taught at Yale on the virtue of humility, TRTC acknowledges the value of self-esteem, financial success, and social status as we navigate life, while also pointing out our culture’s tendency to overemphasize them. He calls instead for a focus on humility—to center on developing what he calls “eulogy” virtues as opposed to what he sees as an obsession with “resume” virtues.
Noting that such a move runs contrary to prevailing trends, he calls this change in emphasis a “struggle” and calls his readers to walk the “humble path,” providing concrete suggestions to his readers on how to walk that road. He notes approvingly that:
I have a friend who spends a few moments in bed at night reviewing the mistakes of his day…Each night, he catalogs the errors. He tallies his recurring core sins and the other mistakes that might have branched off from them. Then he develops strategies for how he might do better tomorrow…We all have a moral responsibility to be more moral every day, and he will struggle to inch ahead each day in this most important sphere. (TRTC pp. 11-12)
While Brooks wasn’t formed by the Jesuits, I have a sneaking suspicion that his friend was. Indeed, when we read this in class, one of my students, to the nods and grunts of assent by his classmates, asked “isn’t that the Examen we do every day?”
For those not in the know, the Examen (or, more formally, the “Examination of Consciousness”) is a development of one of the Spiritual Exercises which gives the retreat St Ignatius Loyola developed, its name. Done daily, it calls us to place ourselves in the loving presence of God and gratefully recognize how He has been working in our lives over the course of the day. It also brings to light our moments of selfishness and sinfulness. Moreover, in the Examen we ask God’s forgiveness and commit ourselves, with His grace, to amend our faults and “do better tomorrow.” So valuable is this practice that the community of Saint Ignatius High School literally shuts down and prays this prayer every afternoon.
Writing for a broad audience and undoubtedly looking to be as marketable as possible, Brooks makes only passing reference to the importance of God in this quest for humility. My one critique of what I find to be a really insightful book is precisely this failure to reference God. In neglecting to do so, he misses out on the fullest meaning of the virtue. Humility is not merely focusing on our weakness and failings (though it is that), rather, it is seeing ourselves as God sees us: warts and all.
The “and all” is just as important in humble self-awareness as the “warts.”
The beauty of the daily Examen is that it starts with what is good in our lives. Even on our worst days, we tend to do at least a few thoughtful, selfless, faithful things. These are the strengths we need to build on. But while we may try to push our sins into our subconscious, we can never really escape the effects of them. Acknowledging our moral and spiritual weaknesses is the “hard consolation” of which Ignatius often spoke which can be an invitation for us to call on the Lord for His help: it is here where we can come closer to Him. Thomas à Kempis saw this as he observed that "A humble knowledge of myself is a surer way to God than a search after learning.”
Here, in praying the daily Examen, lies the key for the boys to become the men God made them to be: the Christian men Jim Skerl envisioned when he first created the Christian Manhood course. It is the key for all of us—women and men—to be who we were meant to be. Praying it is, in the end, to deepen our friendship with the humble One Who “emptied Himself and took [our] form” (Phil. 2:7), Who “became flesh and made His dwelling among us (Jn.1: 14); Jesus, “the Truth and the Life” (Jn. 14:6).
The Way to Heaven.
A.M.D.G. / B.V.M.H.