In my reading over the years I’ve come across lines that have stopped me in my tracks: nuggets of wisdom and insight that have caused me to pause and think for a while. G.K. Chesterton can always be counted on for one or sixty of these, as can C.S. Lewis. The Church Fathers, much of whose work comes down to us in the form of homilies, are also good for the pithy sentence or two.
A number of years ago, legendary Theology teacher, Mike Pennock ’64, shared a quote from writer Anthony de Mello, S.J. with me. While some of the Jesuit’s work was met with a degree of controversy in his later years, he nonetheless made some pretty keen observations. In his book, “Awareness,” he made a point which blew me out of the water:
There’s only one reason you’re not experiencing bliss at this present moment, and it’s because you’re focusing on what you don’t have. (emphasis mine)
The language was brilliant. He didn’t say “contentment” or “happiness” or “joy”: it was “bliss”—the word that describes all those other sentiments as experienced to the highest degree. That we are not falling over ourselves in joy is not that the world is evil, or that we are laid low with illness, or that we are in dead-end jobs (though those things are certainly part of our human experience at times); it is because we look at what others have and envy them.
De Mello was a theologian, but he was also a psychotherapist, so he knew a thing or two about the human thought process. He was aware that the “green-eyed monster” has a way of robbing us of our happiness and keeping us from appreciating what we’ve been given…and Who has given it to us.
A comedian once observed how we tend to lose our minds when things like our cell phones take more than a few seconds to download an internet site. In his routine he reminded his audience that the worst cell phone in the world is “a miracle” and how a “little angel” takes our calls and text messages via satellites in space to friends even on the other side of the world—acts, he noted, which would be amazing even if they took 40 days to get there. Yet our default is to complain if things don’t happen immediately. Where we should be appreciative, we are often ungrateful. And we are miserable.
Such is the attitude of many of us in the 21st century United States.
Conversely, I am reminded of a conversation I had with Drew Vilinsky '97 after he returned from a mission trip during the summer before his senior year. He had been floored—as have dozens of his Ignatian brothers before and after—by his experience working with people in the Dominican Republic—a country which was in the throes of poverty. Confronted by people lacking the amenities we take for granted—electricity, running water, accessible health care—he was stunned by the joyful approach to life his hosts consistently displayed. “They have almost nothing,” I remember him saying, “but they are so happy!”
It was clear, even to his 17-year-old eyes, that the focus of his hosts and their family and friends was not on what they were lacking, it was on what they had: each other. Their mindset is one we all—even in our relative affluence—can adopt in our daily lives, with the same results.
No Pollyanna, Blessed Solanus Casey, OFM Cap. understood that focusing on the gifts we have been given does not, in itself, enable us to meet our needs. He saw that life brings with it difficulties that we cannot overcome alone, and so he advised people to confidently approach the Lord when we are struggling. Sound advice, but the kind almost anyone would give. What made Casey different was that he also said that as soon as one asks for help, she or he should immediately thank the Lord. Casey understood what St Paul did: that “all things work for good for those who love God” (Romans 8:28) and as a result, our attitude should always be one of thankfulness, even in our troubles.
The Lord has given us all we need—and more. He has given us life, friends, family, and the myriad gifts that uniquely characterize each of us. He has given us His Son, present literally in His physical Body, the Eucharist, as well as in His Mystical Body, the Church. As we celebrate Thanksgiving this week, we should count these blessings.
And cultivate an attitude of gratitude.
A.M.D.G. / B.V.M.H.